Last night a friend, a mother of two, posted a rather innocent photo and caption:
Nancy: The girls having drinks.
Only I, as usual, took it a step (or three) further. Below is the commentary posted on that poor photo…
Jenna (Me): Careful. That one in the pink can be a real whore after a few cosmos. If she doesn’t go home with a loser she’ll certainly find a way to vomit in her own cheap hair.
Jillian: ^^sounds like me in my early 20s! Except for the cheap hair part, my hair is never cheap.
Jenna: The pudgy brunette next to her is already up to her neck in shit show. Nan, I think these girls are a bad influence.
Jillian: I’m dyin’ laughing at this Jenna
Khristen: Yeah, the brunette needs to be shut off. No more drinks for her.
Jenna: I love the alligator creepin’ on the blond there…
Jillian: What about the pale faced broad on the end? I think she needs to lay off party drugs.
Naomi: The one in the middle is hammered lol
Jenna: The one with the teapot is the DD. She’s also the “ugly older friend” they all tell she’s pretty and then use her for a ride but they all make fun of her behind her back.
Khristen: She looks like she’s already passed out, only with her eyes open Jillian.
Nancy: Laughing my ass off right now…
Naomi: The gator is creeping
Jenna: ^^^that’s what I said! Haha.
Nancy: If the old one on the end is DD, they’re screwed. Look how smeared her lipstick is!
Jenna: That’s just because she’s incapable of putting on sexy make up. She’s also been harboring a life long fantasy about Robert Smith.
Jillian: Meth is a hell of a drug…
Jen: if i had to be one of these hot messes, I’d be the falling-under-the-counter, rats-nest hairdo girl. because she doesn’t look like she minds…
Jenna: I’m the bitch instagramming the photo and tagging everyone.
Jen: brilliant
Jenna: The DD doll is willing to make out with another doll – she is pretty sure she can pick up the creepin’ gator if she does…
Kathy: I love this!!!!
Jenna: (Oh you had no idea when you posted this which direction it would head…)
Nancy: No, but I’m NOT disappointed!!
Khristen: Seriously, this is the best commentary on an innocent photograph of child’s playthings. I needed this laugh!
Nancy: Agreed!
In other words, just another Wednesday night on facebook…
